it may seem strange that a psychotherapist who is trained to be a kind of mysterious figure is so open about their own mental health struggles. i am doing this to be part of the action to remove stigma from mental health.
i am breaking free of complex ptsd.
in my last blog i was the bravest i have been. a bit like baring my soul online. and it did cause me a little upset, i did scratch at myself a little… what would people think?? i was out of my comfort zone. but someone told me recently that out of their comfort zone was where they felt comfortable, and so i took on this frame of reference and hey presto, i did it (thank you lois diamond! #theonewomanarmy.com)
I am in my house.
My sister is also in my house, as is zaria (my little girl).
It is late evening, dark.
I realise a tiger is trying to get in the house with us.
I am so worried, terffiyed. My sister does not even acknowledge or hear me, let alone help. But she knows there is a tiger trying to get in. she is helping with zaria.
I phone for help. I can’t get any help over the phone.
The tiger is silent and pacing. not exactly aggressive.not exactly happy, just waiting to be let in.
There is no way it can get in the house anyway, all the windows are locked and the door is closed. why am i worried?
But then I realise that the door has broken off the hinges.
I desperately try to get it back in place. My sister does not help and is not even worried. she can not help me with my pain.
I am frantic, so panicked. i am going to die. zaria will be killed. I think I shall be scratched to death by the tiger.
it will eat me.
The glass also comes out of the door leaving a huge open gap for the tiger to jump through.
I realised I am beaten. and the tiger is going to get in. I resign myself to it. I await my fate.
And in the tiger walks. calmly.
No threat. Rather like the tiger who came to tea, in the beautiful children’s book by Judith Kerr. Slightly angry, it mooches around a bit. Eats a lot! And then it leaves again.
This is my second tiger dream. Oh my the first one was so amazing. It must of happened ten years ago. A tiger who came through the open doors late at night, when I was almost ready for bed in a beautiful flowing nightgown. the tiger got up on its hind legs and it pulled me into my feet and together it we waltz around the room. I can still feel it’s paw on the small of my back. breath taking, sensual. A meeting of my power animal. I am the year of the tiger in the chinese zodiac. A dream telling me to tune into my tiger energy. be powerful.
so, how to work out your dreams? try this simple method. everything in your dream is a metaphor. look at your dream like it’s a painting.
Three words for this first tiger?
But this dream last night was slightly different in energy for the tiger. What three words would I have to describe this tiger?
and it represents my self. every part of every dream represents you, the dreamer. and currently i am trying to keep anger out, as anger leads me to hurt my skin. it is threatening and i do not invite it.
but when i left anger in it is not a dangerous as i thought it would be. it is an energy that is there to help me. when i let it in and stay calm and breathe with it, it leaves, as the tiger left. trying to stop it coming actually was creating more stress and worry than when i let it in. it reminds me of the wonderfully enlightened poem by Rumi.
The Guest House by Rumi
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honourably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
so welcome in your tigers, your anger, your hurts and sadness, the demons that may hurt you. do not fight them, this will use too much precious energy. invite those tigers in for tea. Notice them, be kind to them, talk to them, listen to them and maybe even one day laugh with them. Have tea and cake.
And do not be afraid.
Please direct message me if you want any help working out what a special dream is saying to you.
or please write your dream bin the comments and i shall get back to you and try help you work out what it is saying.
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